North Thailand Farming Stock

I recently blogged about how naive and stupid I was not to realise that the eggs for sale out on my roadside table were the entire breeding stock remaining after the fox decimated my flock of hens. And it took Nuch, with all her family history of animal husbandry, over many generations, to make me feel a little foolish, so I quickly gathered in the eggs back and got them into incubators PDQ!
Now with chicks hatching a new dilemma has surfaced. One chick has a badly deformed leg. It's obvious to me that this chick aint gonna walk. So you would think, wouldn't you, that farming people would, you know, many generations back etc etc , like Nuch's, would see that geese gotta fly, ducks gotta swim. Nuch will not let me do what I have to do to this chick. She absolutely refuses that I do for it what I think needs to be done. So methinks that all the old farming stock and know-how has kinda NOT really significantly manifested itself into Nuch's subconscious. She's watched too much wildlife TV specials with poor little cheetah cubs being predated by lions.She isn't a North Thailand Farmer, OK that's her ancestry, but she's much more at home now in shopping malls and supermarkets, many times removed from the killing floor and the abbatoirs. I'm standing by.......This poor chick is gonna be done for. It'll be quick. Don't worry. It'll be very quick.

Beware Sun-Loungers

Hester Chris and Elodie have recently been to Singapore and Bangkok. Whilst in Bangkok Chris had lots of meetings so Hester and Elodie decided to hang out by the Hotel Pool. It being so darn hot outside!!!
Evidently Elodie was what Hester describes as "reckless".....running round and jumping into deep water.....just fearless......and yes....reckless! Nerves fraid, Hester sat her on a sun lounger and gave her an apple to munch on. Seconds later Elodie had fallen sideways off the lounger and hit her nose and mouth on a nearby coffee table. Result mayhem. Blood everywhere! Hotel staff in suits with towels and Hester in floods of tears.
Luckily nothing too serious but Hester just wanted to get home, so caught the next flight to Hong Kong leaving Chris to his meetings. All's well that ends well.

Leechpool Days

We put a couple of signs up on the main road today.Big effect!! Loads of lovely people stopping by to buy plants. And just amazing the way they must tell you of their hernia operations or up-coming hip operations.or their grand-children doing this or that.. We are total strangers to them and yet they get out of their cars, walk into the garden, look at the flower beds, ask if they can see the veg garden and green-houses, and before you know what they are almost like best buddies!! Problem is..... OK...nice to chat.... but I got things to do. Stuff needs watering, stuff needs feeding, swallows need tantalising.....through little gateways I have made........ and the gold-finches need tantalising as well Please please nest here next to the food supply that I have laid on for you.Meanwhile fledglings crash against my windows. Bless them bless them.......

Life After Death

I can still hear Nuch asking me....."Eric, where are the eggs?"I was all boo-hoo, poor me and friends were all asking where I might buy some new hens. At first I thought Nuch a bit selfish. I had just lost all my hens and all she was worried about was not getting free eggs for a while. So I said the eggs were all out on the road-side shop for sale. She didn't say "Well go and get them back in YOU IDIOT!!!!"Because Nuch is not like that. She just quietly said "Get them back in and see if any neighbours might have some incubators" "Ask Richard or Damian from down the road" Somebody round here will have one or even two. So shame-facedly I went and got the eggs back in from my road-side shop. Richard, over the road from here, had an incubator. It didn't rotate. So every time I was in the piggery I turned the shaft 90 degrees to simulate mother hen turning the eggs. And today I have three chicks!!!!!Notice their little water pots on the left. Designed so they can't drown and facilitating humidity. I have another incubator which I hope has not been too hot. It's been difficult keeping it at 37.5 degrees. I have 16 eggs incubating. 3 baby chicks so far. I'll keep you posted!!!

Still you know I'm Happy

I have been a rover
I have walked alone
Hiked a hundred Highways
Never found a home

Still in all I'm Happy
The reason is you see
That once in a while
along the way

Love's been good to me.

There was a girl in Sydney
before the Southern Storm
Oh her eyes were tender
Oh her arms were warm

And she could smile away the thunder
Kiss away the rain
and even though she's gone away
you'll not hear me complain

I have been a rover
walked out on the plain
faced everything that nature sends
thunder, light'nin' rain

There was a girl in Cardiff
before the winter chill
We used to go a courtin'
Along October Hill
And she would laugh away the dark clouds
Cry away the snow

It seems like only yesterday
As down the road I go

JOHN WAYMAN - ENGLISHMAN

There's a lot in a name. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. There has been a little banter about the name for Hester's new baby. Everyone will say that a child grows into its name anyway so what's the deal. I am always amazed here in Wales to see all the tradesmens names on the side of their vans. Mark Jones, Simon Jones, Alan Jones, David Jones, Mark Evans, Simon Evans etc etc etc so anonymous, so boring, so unimaginative. You can see how some names might drop out of popular use.
Imagine a company exclaiming that Mr Hitler makes exeedingly good cakes for instance. There was a tax collector in Bristol in the seventies with the surname Herod!! There's a lot in a name. I claim that the reason Tim Henman never won Wimbledon was because of his name. Fans shouted "Come on Timmy!" Jeremy Vines brother is called Timothy Vine. What were their parents thinking about? You have never heard of a heavy-weight boxer or all-in-wrestler called Timothy or Jeremy. Timothy became a runner-up tennis player on being given that name.
I've never been comfortable with my name Eric. Evidently my mother had an uncle in Hampshire called Eric and she thought it a "nice" name. I haven't researched where it comes from originally. I don't really care. But name one heavy-weight boxer called Eric. Name any boxer called Eric. Name a fast bowler called Eric. Apart from Eric Morcombe, Eric Sykes and the darts player Eric Bristow, name me any famous or worthy Eric. (oh yeah .....Clapton) OK But I'm shit on guitar so forget that one!!!
Funny that I always considered my middle name to be just so numb and ubiquitous...........again.....what were they thinking about??? John the Baptist or what?? But lately I've been thinking. Did I ever grow into my name? 61 years? No. Not really. All these years down the road JOHN WAYMAN kinda sounds the real deal. A bit Chaucer, a bit Shakespeare. You don't mess around with JOHN. If you do. You better watch out! John's gonna get you!!
JOHN WAYMAN -  HEAVY HAULAGE CO.
JOHN WAYMAN -  DEBT COLLECTION
JOHN WAYMAN - RETRIBUTION
JOHN WAYMAN - ASSISTED SUICIDE
JOHN WAYMAN - YOU'RE NEEDS MET OR NO FEE

So watch this space Blog-Fans.
Jocelynne, by the way, calls her husband Dave.
He calls himself David!!!
Michaelangelos sculpture of a ravishingly beautiful, muscular male youth is called "David"
No-one has ever suggested calling the sculpture .....Michaelangelo's "Dave"
There's a lot in a name

Leechpool Never Lets Me Down

Two shots for you today. One looking North over Cracknell's field, the other, my laburnam tree which will very soon be buzzing with bees. There's a bee-keeper up the road and her bees will be here soon! Bet your boots. Last year I heard the noise, hour after hour after hour, thinking when will that distant tractor stop. It never did. Then I walked past my laburnam. I think I have blogged before to say that living in Leechpool is like living in your own personal, private art gallery. Take a picture or paint a picture in any direction and you will have a work of art. I'm not saying it's perfect. A couple of winter's ago I found it tough. Cold, dark, windy, rainy, night after night, lonely, isolated with just my thoughts and my intellect to hold me together. It was tough, and I struggled. But hey-ho and up she rises!! Lovely people pulled me through!!! You know who you are!!! Bless You! All of you. Not naming you here!!

Country Trash

I gotta mountain fleece and a huntin' dog
A cap that I ordered from the catalogue
A big tall tree that shades the yard
A big fat sow for the winter's lard
Let the thunder roll let the lightnin' flash
I'm doin' alright for country trash

I'm savin' up pennies for a rainy day
I gotta coupla quid here stashed away
The wind is from the south and the fishin's good
I got a pot-belly stove and a cord o'wood
Let the thunder roll let the lightin' flash
God's gotta heaven for country trash

There's not much ground here left to dig
All the hash here's burried in the pig
My hands don't earn me too much gold
For security when I grow old
But we'll all be even under the grass
I'm doin' alright for country trash
So let the thunder roll and the lightnin' flash
I'm doing alright for country trash.

Brays Grove Comprehensive

This is a picture showing the entrance to my secondary school. When I first attended the school the building on the left wasn't there. It was later built as the sixth form block. All of it now has been bull-dozed. A sixties folly! I used to cycle into this gate every morning. The cycle sheds were inside the gate on the right hand side. I've recently been contacted by some old pupils wanting to have a re-union.
I'm sorry but I am not enthusiastic to revisit any of this old landscape. It was a big school and ran an old system of prefects. Because I was such a goodie-goodie and always did as I was told I eventually became a prefect. Then later when elections were held for Head Boy and Deputy Head Boy I lost out to Martin Scott. We were both asked to make a speach at some 6th Form away-day and I declined. Little knowing that that was to be the acid test. So Martin became Head Boy and me his deputy. I have just received an invitation from Martin to attend a re-union next year. In his email he says what a wonderful education we all got from Brays Grove. Most old chums did very well for themselves.
Well sorry Buddy. I beg to differ. Having a B.Ed Honours Degree I'd like to contest that. The Maths teaching was total shit!!! We had a history teacher in years two and three who just wrote history on the black-board which we copied into our exercise books. We had RE lessons where the silly idiot was more obsessed about whether we should use the top line in our rough books and German lessons were just so oblique and unfathomable!! If something has more than 2 syllables the resulting verb will end in d!! I'm prepared to accept that it's my inadequacy here. But I think Brays Grove could have offered me a whole lot more.

Love Don't Live Here Anymore

You've gotta decide in this life
who might love you.
It's not so much a question about
who might not.
That's already history.

New Friend

I  have a new friend at the gym. His name is Ian. The picture here shows Dan, not Ian. Ian is 69 years old. Pretty fit!! Wirey even, and in the gym everyday, every morning keeping fit. He's ex RAF. Trained in radar. When he demobbed he took a teaching degree in Maths and then in Mechanics. I'm hoping that Ian will let me take his photo so I can put him on my Blog. He did a teaching degree in Bristol and taught in Bristol and Chepstow. He has a daughter here in Chepstow who teaches English. She has two small children. We have become bosom-buddies!! We crack jokes. We empathise and sympathise. We swap stories. I tell him a about an event in my life and he comes back with something equally wierd or obscure. We both do the Goons, Tony Hancock, Tommy Cooper and Les Dawson !!! All the time, by the way, doing press-ups, squat-thrusts and bench-presses!! It's great!! I save up one-liners for him......which I bet he's never heard before. Every morning .......as I drive to the gym...... I think.........what shall I hit him with today?!!!!!

My Wonderful Neighbour

I took this photo this afternoon in the garden, on my new Wimbledon towel!! Note EJW!!!. Its of two little cardigans knitted by my neighbour, Dot, for Moo-Moo and the new baby !!! I was going to post it to Hester and keep it a surprise but it's just so lovely I've sent Hester the picture and now I'm Blogging it. The complicated stitching of the cream-coloured hooded jacket has to be seen to be believed. It's crocheted!!! And has lovely toggle buttons and is a work of Art!!! When Hester and Elodie were here back in March I took Moo to meet Dot next door and Dot saw the little wollen hooded jacket with coloured buttons that Moo was wearing. It set her thinking. It's amazing to think that a grandma would do something like this for her own grandchildren!!!!! But to do something like this for your neighbours grandchildren.......kinda gives me goose-bumps. I am Lucky Lucky Lucky!!! Gorgeous granddaughter! Wonderful neighbour!!! You can win the lottery and yet not have this kind of stuff bestowed on you.

Cracking Jokes

I do suffer considerable anguish. People might not think that I do. But I do. I say things and observe things and offer opinion and comment and want to crack jokes. I love it when I can get a laugh.Love it!!! I store jokes almost neurotically alphabeticed, as Nick Hornby once said about mens' record collections; in the hope that one day I can crease someone with a one-liner. Instead of concentrating on my business or filling out tax-returns I day-dream about stupid jokes that I can store up like ammunition to shoot at my nearest and dearest; preferably when they're not expecting it. Lucky for me my Mum can't remember jokes. Yet she just loves them. Every time I go up to Clacton I line her up and say "Have I told you the joke about the guy dancing naked around his tomato plants?" Or some other silly story.  She looks at me blankly and says "No". I know I told the joke last year. But I repeat it anyway and she nearly wets herself laughing. Now believe me folks that's your best audience!!! But getting back to anguish; the worst thing is that someone has heard the joke before and crushes it or even worse doesn't get it or even thinks that it's not really worth getting in the first place. That's where I suffer. If you set yourself up; you can be knocked down. And I think more and more these days that "Why did I set myself up for that one?" Its a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing!

Mums 91st Birthday

From left to right, my elder sister Pat, me, Mum, my younger sister Joyce, her youngest daughter Alison and Alisons youngest Macey. Alisons son Riley (age 5) was at school that day. April 23rd Mum's 91st Birthday!

My Life

I've no idea how you run your lives or think about what you do or what you say.. to strangers or loved-ones. Most times it's just chit-chat and trivia. It's a known fact that we can't endure silence for very long. Someone has to chip in to fill any silence. Otherwise everyone tends to get just a little edgy. So some idiot offers his two-penneth into the equation and why do I always, always, always offer my two-penneth when someone elses is probably following with probably something far greater in terms of whit or profundity. I've recently been contacted by my old school chums to attend an old school reunion. I've told them that I cannot revisit all the crazy, stupid things I did or said. The problem is that I have remembered all the bad times. I have stored up and replayed and replayed all the ridiculousness of my teenage years over and over and over these past 40 years to beyond the point of excruciating embarrasssment and boy do I not want to re-visit any of it. So I have politely told them that I won't be there.

Life After Death

So the last person to get the news about my dead chickens was Nuch. And of course in hindsight she should have been the first person. Despite her high-heels, make-up, nail-varnish, hand-bags, shopping and all-things-girlie she comes from North Thailand farming stock.The very first thing she said to me was "How many eggs have you got?" I said for heavens sake I've lost all my hens and all you can think about is your breakfast!!!!! I said that the eggs I have got are out on the roadside table for sale. She said "Well go and get them back in again and someone local must have an incubator. Try Richard over the road or Damian who sometimes looks after the hens when you go to Hong Kong. Ask John Lane he'll know someone." Well Why didn't I think of that? I spend all my time these days just being stupid. I can tell you it's hard work! It takes up all of my time. So I now have 10 eggs in an incubator lent to me by Richard over the road. And another incubator arrives tomorrow for the other six eggs which remain after the carnage. If I had a brain I'd probably be dangerous!!!

That's Death

You have good days and bad I suppose.
That's life.
Yesterday was definitely not one of the best I've ever had.
A stupid email that I wished I had never sent.
I wanted to go into my clothes cupboard and close the door behind me
crouch down and moan.
Then in the same 24 hours, as if sent to punish me, the local fox
did for all my chickens. Only the big cockerel survived the attack.
The heads were all bitten off.
It's all terribly quiet here.
It's my fault.
I didn't close their little trap door last night.
Something I usually do but not always.

That's Life

OK
Maybe not the greatest week of my life.
Shown up, disappointed with myself as well as some others but mostly with myself I suppose.
That's one area that's open to me to change.
It must be easier to change yourself than expect it of others.
How come I can still make stupid mistakes?
With all my experience!
But Hey
That's Life
That's what all the people say
Flying high in April
Shot down in May
But I know I'm  gonna have to change that tune
When I'm back on top
Back on top in June.
But I guess that's life
And as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks
Stomping on a dream
But I don't let it,
I dont' let it get me down
'Cause this fine old world
Just keeps spinning round.

So to everyone out there
who I have offended
or attacked
or exasperated
or humiliated
or insulted
or denigrated in any way shape or form...
please read this Blog as an apology to you.

I think of myself as trying my best
but I need to try harder.

But Hey
That's Life
I can't deny it
I thought of quitting baby
But my heart aint gonna buy it
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try
I'd jump on a big bird
A big bird!!!!!................................... and let her fly. 

New Boxing Fan

Dan posted thsi picture on his Facebook/Twitter page and immediately somebody called Juliet posted that she "Like" this!!! Who is she I wonder and does she like me or Dan or just the picture or what?????
mmmm???

Pad Work with Dan

Still got a bit of a tummy and those skinny calf muscles I'm working on. But boy do I like hitting those pads that Dan holds up. I have an hour session every week with him and we do all sorts of stuff but boxing is my favourite.

Hey Stephen

Hi this Blog is aimed at Stephen!! He has managed to comment on my Blog recently. I am hoping that Stephen will send me pictures of Lucy, Maddison, Kristen. Kiera-Page, Paul, Carlene and Logan et-al so I can Blog them for all my near and Dear to enjoy. Come on Stephen ....!!!